As far back as I can remember, my mom always made us go to church. It was long, it was boring, and sometimes I would go to sleep. That was pretty much my attitude towards church and all things pertaining to God until 7 years ago. I was just about to turn 21 and I couldn't have told you what came over me then but now I know it had to be the Holy Spirit speaking to me. He placed a song on my heart. A song that I had never heard before. I wrote it out and felt the need to sing it out. I ended up putting this song as my voicemail message. My family heard the song and loved it. I felt this unexplainable joy because I knew who really wrote this song.
On my 21st birthday I went to Dairy Queen with my "best friend" and she told me that her, my other friend, and her boyfriend all heard the song. She told me that it sounded bad and that they had all been sitting around laughing at me. And that she was embarrassed for me and with a disgusted look on her face asked me "What would make you do that?". I felt like a fool to say the least. But I played it off like it was nothing until I got home. I erased the voicemail and got rid of the song. I cried for a long time and didn't speak to her again. That one incident broke me for a long time. But when God starts something He continues until He finishes! Two years later I started reading my bible and I couldn't understand a word LOL! Not even the NLT version. So I went to the to Christian book store and the owner advised me to get a children's bible. It was a large print bible with bible stories written so a child could understand them. But guess what? I still didn't understand it! I thought, am I just really this slow or what?! But glory be to God, I didn't give up and in no time at all it was like a light switch was turned on! Not only could I understand the children's bible but also the NLT, NIV, NKJV, and the KJV. Now when I say I could not understand anything, please know I am not exaggerating, I knew NOTHING! God knew that I wanted to understand and that I was diligently seeking so He revealed/opened up the word to me. As a child of God, He will not hold any good thing from you but you have to seek it. You have to really want it. If He were to just give it away to everyone, it would be like giving pearls to swine unfortunately (Matt. 7:6). Which is giving treasure to someone who does not know what to do with it. He revealed so much to me through meditating on the word and also through dreams (I will have to talk about dreams in another post!). But I am just so thankful to God that even when I had given up on myself and had a 2-year slump, that He knew what would happen and never gave up on me. And for anyone that has experienced negativity from so-called friends or whoever while coming to Christ, understand that the word of God is foolishness to those who are perishing (1 Cor. 1:18). So don't take it personal, they just don't get it....yet! Pray for their understanding that they may have a relationship with Christ as well. I now know that the song He put on my heart wasn't crazy, stupid, or ridiculous. It might have seemed foolish to some for me to sing to the Lord on my voicemail but I will be a fool for Christ any day (1 Cor. 4:10)! God bless you!
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